I no longer want reminders of what was, what got broken, what got lost, what got wasted. There was a period, a long period, dating from my childhood until quite recently, when I thought I did. A period during which I believed that I could keep people fully present, keep them with me, by preserving their mementos, their things, their totems. The detritus of this misplaced belief now fills the drawers and closets of my apartment in New York.... The objects for which there is no satisfactory resolution....I find many engraved invitations to the weddings of people who are no longer married. I find many mass cards from funerals of people whose faces I no longer remember.In theory these mementos serve to bring back the moment. In fact they serve only to make clear how inadequately I
appreciated the moment when it was here.
It was another gorgeous day and we had a long and lovely walk. I'm grateful for having Bonu, our mini schnauzer, accompany me on these walks. Knowing that she is there to ground me in reality and bring me back to the present, I allow my mind to wander, my senses to feel overwhelmed by the beauty, and to reach that space where reality and illusion meet.
In 550 years, based on the way our clocks are now set, we will be approximately one hour out of sync with Earth's orbit around the sun. An important and critical matter for some delegates who on January 19th came together for a meeting at a UN agency responsible for regulating global time.
I don't know what to think of this. Seriously? What else is there to say.
I feel reassured knowing that there are professionals out there watching over our time and making sure that the future generation (550 years from today) does not miss out on a full hour. It is important to get our priorities straight and to use our time, our limited time, wisely.
A little while ago I downloaded instagram, a free iphone app for taking, formatting and sharing photographs. I thought it would be yet another free app that would take up space on my phone but which I would rarely use. Needless to say that hasn't been the case. Instagram tags along with my iphone, making visual creative expression accessible to me at all times. The additional bonus is the sharing, the comments you receive, the new connections, and being exposed to amazing creativity and talent from around the world.
It has also encouraged me to pay attention to details at yet another level. I challenge myself every day on our usual walk to find a new perspective, a new visual expression that I could share with my instagram community. This attention has brought along with it much delight.
Witnessing the explosion of so much creativity on instagram has been an inspiring and humbling experience.
There is a life I wish to live. It is not a life with different events or different people that make up the life I am now living. It is not a life where things have come out differently, with fewer defeats or greater triumphs. No, it is this life, my actual life I am living, but with one great difference: a difference in the experience of time.
The fact is that I am not now living my life - it is living me. I am not - as used to be said - conducting my affairs; they are conducting me, driving me. And with ever increasing acceleration and tempo.
And so begins the New Year. Happy 2012. May it be a more reflective, peaceful, and loving year, one in which we will truly feel more interconnected with each other and our environment, will focus more on our responsibilities towards each other rather than our rights, and instead of stories of greed we will hear and witness more stories of integrity, sharing and community.